How to Stop Procrastinating: Part 2
By Angela Gwak, PhD
In part 1 of this procrastination series, we learned that procrastination is a delaying behavior that is done voluntarily around important tasks despite anticipating negative outcomes if not attended (Klingsieck, 2013). And we’ve also looked at how procrastination is not a function of being lazy or having lack of will. Rather, we commonly procrastinate because of our lack of effective emotion regulation skills and/or lack of planning skills around tasks that generate unwanted thoughts and feelings. I underscored the importance of increasing your knowledge about procrastination (Tip #1) as a first step to help demystify and tackle this behavior.
9 Tips to challenge your procrastination
Let’s now dive into nine additional tips that you can consider trying on your own. These tips are geared towards improving emotion regulation skills, planning skills, or seeking support to effectively address procrastination.
Tip #1: Manage your emotions through deep breathing and progressive muscle relaxation techniques.
Deep breathing practices on a regular basis can help you better regulate unpleasant thoughts or emotions associated with an unwanted task. There is a relationship between our minds, emotions, and physical sensations. When we slow our breathing and inhale more oxygen into our system, we are conditioning our bodies to become calm. As our bodies become relaxed, you might be surprised to note that your emotions follow suit and with more practice, you may learn to feel better overall. Furthermore, if you have muscle tension due to stress and anxiety, try practicing Progressive Muscle Relaxation. PMR involves systematically tightening and then releasing various muscle groups throughout your body. We often carry muscle tension without knowing it. Noticing muscle tension and intentionally relaxing our muscles can help you feel more at ease (since it’s impossible to relax and tense muscles at the same time - try it!) It is important to regularly practice these breathing and muscle relaxation techniques. When you’re experiencing strong emotions,it’s difficult to know what to do in the midst of a difficult moment. It’s helpful to practice these skills when you are not under too much stress at first. With consistency, you’ll be able to effectively impact and regulate your mood with these skills. There are many resources that are freely accessible online that can support your skills practice with step by step instructions.
Tip #2: Practice non-judgmental observations of your emotions.
Try to observe what you’re feeling around the dreaded task without judgment, as if you are merely describing them rather than placing your opinion. Ask yourself, “Am I feeling overwhelmed? Am I feeling scared or anxious about failing? Am I bored?” Once you are aware of your emotions, acknowledge and accept these emotions and try to avoid negating them. Again, the key is to notice, describe, and accept these negative emotions, without self-criticism. Often, being hard on ourselves about what we’re feeling simply exacerbates our internal distress - if we can be honest about what’s happening without judgment, we can slow down an emotional tailspin.
Tip #3: Challenge negative thoughts related to the task.
Oftentimes, our thoughts can stir up undesired emotions as well. For example, you may be thinking, “I am not a good writer,” which can lead to feeling incompetent. If you then run with these emotions and thoughts without actively challenging them, you are likely to activate procrastinating behaviors to escape these unpleasant thoughts and emotions. When this occurs, challenge your thoughts by asking yourself, “Are my thoughts 100% accurate? Am I really not a good writer? Have there been any exceptions in the past?” Think of a piece of good writing you have done before. Identifying the facts or evidence against your negative thinking statement can help you challenge the total veracity of your initial thought. You may realize that you are not a bad writer after all. Hopefully, a perspective shift can offer a boost of motivation and courage to give the writing another shot.
Tip #4: Embrace a self-compassionate stance.
Try embracing a gentle and encouraging stance towards yourself. Externalize the procrastination as the enemy and avoid attacking yourself with criticism or assuming that you have a character flaw. Instead, use compassionate words to depersonalize what’s happening, for example, “The procrastination is getting in my way of achieving x, y, and z,” rather than labeling and criticizing yourself as being lazy or unmotivated. Activate your self-compassion stance by stating, “I can see that I don’t want to do this task. Procrastination is getting in my way. It’s okay, everyone delays at times but let’s just try again. I can do this. I’ve done it before.” Be gentle to yourself and forgive the little slip ups here and there so that you can try again.
Tip #5: Reframe tasks into positives.
Try to reframe the undesired task into positives to activate pleasant mood and strengthen your motivation. It may be helpful to vividly picture yourself successfully completing the task and enjoying the outcomes. It could also help to focus on the rewards you will gain. For example, tell yourself, “When I’m done with this task, I can fully enjoy going out with my friends and I will not have to deal with the stress looming over me,” “I will have less anxiety once I am done with this task,” “I will feel so much better and less depressed,” “I will feel accomplished and productive when I am done,” and so on.
Tip #6: Set actionable steps to tackle procrastination.
Break tasks into manageable smaller steps towards your goal and reward yourself after completing each step. If you have a writing assignment, for instance, instead of pressuring yourself to devote huge amounts of time and be overly ambitious about finishing the assignment in one sitting, challenge yourself to only sit down to brainstorm ideas at first. You can also give yourself a short time limit of writing 10 minutes each day. To your surprise, you will find that on some days you wrote more than you’ve intended. A common reason for procrastination is unrealistic or perfectionistic expectations, which often leads to feeling immediately overwhelmed (and then subsequently avoidant of getting started!) Remember to reward yourself with pleasurable activities, such as going out with your friends, watching the show that you’ve been wanting to watch, and so forth.
Tip #7: Remove distractions.
Think about the various distractions that are preventing you from engaging the task at hand. For example, are you falling asleep in your bed while completing the task? Experimenting with a different location where you are more likely to focus is a good idea. Is your phone a constant distraction? Turn off notifications or consider putting your phone away entirely (in a drawer or separate room) for the allotted time you plan to be focusing on the task.
Tip #8: Seek support from loved ones.
Whether it is a friend, co-worker, or family member, ask someone who is generally positive to offer encouragement or check in on a regular basis about the progress you’ve been making. It can be thoughtful to share beforehand what questions, comments, or ways of checking in you’d find most useful. It can also be helpful to co-work or FaceTime with someone who also struggles with procrastination to reduce the isolation or self-blame that can come with it.
Tip #9: Consider seeking professional support.
If you are still struggling in spite of many self-help attempts to overcome procrastination, I would recommend seeking professional support. A trained psychologist using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) techniques, for example, would be well-equipped to help you increase awareness, practice emotion regulation skills, and implement creative strategies uniquely tailored to you. They can also assess whether there may be other factors contributing to procrastination that should be addressed to support your progress, such as ongoing mood difficulties, core beliefs, clinical perfectionism, or executive functioning concerns. It’s important to remember that many adults struggle with procrastination and that there is no shame in asking for help or support to reach the personal goals that matter to you.
About the Author: Dr. Angela Gwak is a psychologist and post-doctoral fellow at MTC. She utilizes CBT techniques herself and equips clients with effective skills to combat procrastination.
References:
Klingsieck, K. B. (2013). Procrastination: when good things don’t come to those who wait. European psychologist, 18(1), 24.